Yet another marriage in family

She lay on the bed tossing and rolling unable to fall asleep. Her aunt's tear filled eyes kept flashing in her mind. She knew that her mother had also gone through the same during her marriage. She felt sorry for her cousin because she knew history was to repeat itself.

Marriages are made in heaven they say. May be thats true. Because in most parts of India, the true spirit of marriage is lost and forgotten. In both urban and rural India, the brides side is forced to shell out money in the name of marriages where as the grooms side do nothing but expect and expect and expect from the bride and her parents. In most of the marriages, may it be love or arranged, may they be educated or uneducated, this situation is unavoidable. The situation might not be as grave as stated in all cases but there is always this thing called expectation living deep down their heart.

She knew that this expectation turns the relationship between the families sour. This for sure affects the newly wed couple by stealing away the peace, trust and good will for each other. She flinched thinking of her newly wed days. How the mere thought of her marriage had become a taboo for her. It robbed her of her carefree days, her childish and innocent self. It broke her and mutated her into this more mature and practical being with a bitter heart. "Mutation. Yes. Thats what happens after marriage." She thought. Her husband was not spared from suffering either. He had fought his own battle. Battle of finding a balance between his family and his wife. But in due process he ended up losing his peace of mind and hope. Hope of a "Happily ever after" life.

She understood why the youth was now trending with live in relationships. Because they feared commitment. And it was a wise decision she thought. To love, it takes just two like minded people. But to marry, it needs 2 families, caste, money, social status. She could not help but feel sorry for her cousin who was to be married. She could not help but think of her aunt who was grieving at the prospect of marrying her daughter out of caste. It was again another marriage happening between 2 incompatible families. All she could do was pray to God to spare the young couple the heat of their elders which comes in the name of marriage. She turned to her son sleeping beside her. Patted him gently on his head and pledged not to put him through what his parents have undergone. She prayed to remain as sane as possible to not impose the mindset of the their generation onto the younger one.

Fingers crossed

Happy birthday Abhiram

WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND. I don't deny this fact. But why am I forced to listen to it on an infinite loop? Why? Oh yeah! Because its apparently my son's new favorite. And what else, the tiny tiger has turned 2 this week. Happy 2nd birthday to the momma in me. And yes happy birthday to my son as well. 

The past 2 years have been quite something to me. It feels like just yesterday that he was born. Yet it feels like he has been with me since times unknown. The last 2 years have just whizzed past me in fast forward. Yet I can't deny that I enjoyed each and every moment watching him grow. At the age of 2, he is as naughty as Calvin. Serves me right for having read the Calvin and Hobbes collection while the Tyke was within me.

The past 2 years have been quite adventurous, action packed, emotional and equally confusing and frustrating. I have realized that I have become a character and viewer of a suspense thriller daily soap. He is so spontaneous, stubborn and unpredictable. (just like his dad in case you are wondering.) The rate at which he tugs at my hair, I am sure to go bald in another couple of years.

As of today, he can crawl, run, sprint, jump, hop, sneak and hide.  He can enact "Twinkle Twinkle little star.", "Chal mere ghode chal chal chal." and partly "Wheels on the bus" and "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands." He sings sometimes (not in perfect rhythm and with no coherent words). His favorite toy is his kitchen set, that I gifted him in haste so as to have my kitchen for myself. But though he loves his miniature kitchen, he still holds a great fancy for my kitchen and everything in it. He is smart enough to kill the cockroaches he lays his eyes upon. 

His vocabulary is not as much as that of a 2 year old. But as a mom, it still sounds cute to me. Here is the Abhiram language translator. This is mostly for my future references and others might as well ignore it.

Bhi - Abhi (his name)
Pooi - Spoon
Pooi - Puvvu (Flower in telugu)
Thakyu - Thank you
Bye - Bye
Amma - Amma
Daddy - Daayi
Mama - Mama
Thata - Thata
Nani - Nani
Ammamma - Mammamma
Tu - Shoe
Ju - Juice
Ty - Aunty
Ka- Akka
Kaki - Kaki
Kukka - Kukka
Bi - Billi
Kai - Kaallu
Nuu - No
Puu - Po
Go - Ball
Bugga - Bug
Bugga - Glucon D
Duddu - Guddu
Duddu - Laddu

This is not an exhaustive set of words from his dictionary. But are the most commonly used words.

I know, I know how boring it could be for others to read this blog. But I had to write it for him.

Turning 30

This post was due in september for my husband's 30th birthday and needless to say its dedicated to him.

Turning 30 is something emotional (atleast for me). It is half of your productive life. Given the life expectancy these days it might be half of our life span. It is also an equivalent of adult adolescence. This is the age when we are neither young nor old. Few might have already seen their first grey hairs. Few of us are already parent to a kid or worse two and are wondering, "How the hell did our previous generation manage to train their dragons?" The pressure on unmarried people is more intense and severe than ever before. For those who are married and are still childless, the entire world turns curious at this point and asks, "When is the baby coming?(You are already 30)" even worse "Is there any problem? Did you check with the doctor?".

Coming to the side effects of turning 30, the child in us is literally shouting to come out and show the world that we still need to grow up. That we are not ready for marriage or to have a baby. Those with babies might still be wondering if they are actually parents now. How? But How? pinching themselves to come out of their dream (as if they get enough time to dream or sleep :P) and slapping themselves for plunging in headlong into the mad mad world of mommys and daddys. The most evident side effect of turning 30 is the POT BELLY. The less significant side effects are pigmentation, warts, dark circles etc etc. Less significant I say because we anyways have concealers etc etc to hide them.

Yet there are very few who accept that they have wasted half of their life running a rat race and pause to retrospect as to what was the point in racing in life when you don't have time to pause and appreciate what you have in life. Whats the point in earning money when you don't have time to spend with your loved ones? When you don't have time to meet friends? Life is short, if you have not been living your life to the fullest, its high time you start doing it now. Its good to take chances, to deviate from the race, take a break, gulp some red bull and decide if you still want to be a part of the race.

Happy 30th birthday to everyone who has turned 30 this year.

P.S: I have long way to go to reach my 30th birthday.
P.P.S: 3 months is a long way of course,

The Cause

Her eyes were filled with hatred as she saw the filthy intruders writhe in pain. The air was filled with the stench of poison. The poison she used to kill her enemies. She knew that she had done something that no man would be willing to do and other women usually shriek in fright at the sight of these filthy intruders. She was proud of her achievement. She congratulated herself for choosing the right time for carrying out this massive massacre - Midnight, when the hidden would come out of their hiding.

Her eyes searched restlessly for those who were still alive and trying to escape. She didn't regret the murders because it was for a cause. She had suffered enough and it was time for some action. She was happy to look at the place which was now strewn with the dead. Would this act of hers make her look less womanly? She wondered. But she didn't really care. What mattered the most for her was that it was her realm and she would not accept anyone to overpower her here. It might be a trivial issue for everyone else. But for her, it was war.

She knew it was not over yet. She knew that there were few more hiding. May be they would be more cautious now to come out in the dark. But she was determined to bring them down and she knew she could do it if her serial attacks went on as per plan. But she had to rest now. It was half past midnight. She turned her back towards the dead and walked away throwing the empty can of HIT. Few more nights of such massacres and she knew she would finally achieve her target of a "cockroach free kitchen".

Swachh home. Sweet home

I noticed that almost every corner of my home is a mess and decided to clean and sort things a little bit every day. So I told my husband what was on my mind. "Wont't cook anything tomorrow. Eat outside. I have something important to do." I was disappointed to see how happily my husband seemed to take the news. But I forgive him.

The next morning I decided to cleanup the crocery unit and I was mighty impressed and satisfied by the time I was done. Now, I won't tell you how I had managed to do it. It is for you to guess whether I had discarded the unwanted stuff or camaflouged them with the surroundings or shifted them to somewhere else. I was waiting for my husband to wake up and see the transformation I had brought to his house. He woke up and the ungrateful man couldn't find any difference. But that didn't dampen my spirits, I wanted to post the before and after pics on FB and whatsapp. But the only problem was that I didn't take any pic before cleaning it. 

My husband dragged his feet towards the kitchen to drink water and said, "I see so many things piled up in the kitchen  today. I don't find anything useful here." How come he could notice the mess in the kitchen when he could not make out the change at the crockery unit? And my target for the day was to fix the crockery which I did. So what if I had to move out some stuff to the kitchen? It will have its share of cleaning and polishing done when its turn comes. May be tomorrow or the day after or.. or.. when I don't feel like cooking.

Support. Will you now?

I was asked this question and was told to blog about it. The question was -
"Does a women really need a supportive husband/brother/father /son/any men to be successful in her life."

As soon as I read the question, the ego in me replied - "Why the hell do we need others support to succeed?" But that is not true in most of the cases. At every step of ours we depend on many people, both men and women. I thought of many women whom I have come across in my life, and all of them depend a lot on their family for support. Someone with amputated leg has ascended the Mt. Everest. Sudha Chandran, dances with artificial foot. There is Yashodhara Lal, who does a full time job in marketing, is a Zumba trainer and a successful writer and manages 3 kids. All these with a lot of support from their respective families. And there is me, who, despite having everyone's support, quit my career and decided to be a full time home maker. SIGH! My point here is, there are all types of women - Women,who with support succeed in achieving their goals, Woman who step back despite having support. Now, there are very few woman of 3rd Category - Woman, who without anyone's support rise and succeed. But it takes a lot of hard work and determination to not allow the mocking society to bring you down.

Talking about few facts, these days most of the men are supportive towards the women in their lives, may it be their mother, daughter, sister or wife. (Atleast in the urban places). And mind you, its an underdog's world. You will be supported until you are striving and struggling to succeed. Once you reach the peak of success ladder, the same people will turn cold towards you. You can fly, but not higher than them. You may fare good but not better than them. That's the irony of the world we live in.

To summarize my opinion, Yes. We do need our husband's/family's support to succeed. This does not mean that we cant do anything without support from men. It might get difficult to go on without support. But with immense will power we can achieve whatever we want. Most of the times women listen to their hearts than their brains. Hence they don't defy or go against the male ego, because women value their feelings. This is not an indication of weakness, but love.

Shuttle Stories

Since I have taken up the job of a full time home maker, I could squeeze in some time to play shuttle. And it was fun. Fun because the way we played was funny.

Day 1: It was 8:00 PM already but we switched on the lights at our park and started playing. My first shot (okay not first, fifth), sent the cock to some distant lands and we couldn't find it. Since we didn't have a spare cock, we decided to buy few cocks and resume playing. Dolly(my neighbour) and me went with both our kids on her activa (Which was quite an adventure in itself). By the time we returned with the cocks it was already late and we decided to resume our game next day morning.

Day 2: 6:45 AM, fresh and fully equipped us went to the lawn to play shuttle. Man! it felt great sprinting around, making swift hand movements and finally doing some form of work out. But it would have been better if I could also hit the target atleast once in ten times. But anyways, since flinging the bat aimlessly in the air and running hither thither made me stretch and sweat, I am quite satisfied. Oh! did I mention my tripping and falling flat on my stomach?


Day 2: 7:30 PM. The over enthusiastic us (Dolly and me), decided to play in the evening as well. Since our husbands weren't home, we had to take our toddlers with us to the lawn. We managed to play as decently as possible with our kids running between our legs, and throwing our cock in random directions. Since our game wasn't going as expected, we switched to walking on the jog track which later turned out to be piggy back rides for the kids. And yes, it was fun though it had very little shuttle involved.

Looking forward to tomorrow's game.