Another chance

Holding his head in his hands, Das was seated on the hospital’s chair, tiny beads of sweat trickling down his face. His wife was probably breathing her last breath while he could do nothing but see the time tick off. He could feel the anxiety of his 8 year old daughter sitting beside him. This was when Das’s mind voluntarily started ruminating his past.

It was almost 10 years since he first met Shraddha. She was his colleague at work. Their tastes and interests never matched. Innocent and introvert was Shraddha whereas clever and outgoing was Das. They had nothing in common except love. Eventually they got married.

They were a happily married couple. They had a daughter Riya and Shraddha had to quit her job in order to take care of her daughter. She was a very good home maker. Everyone became busy with time. Shraddha, with Riya and house hold activities and Das, with his work at office. Das was the busiest. He being the sole bread winner for the family, worked very hard at office and thanks to the Work from Home concept that allowed Das to bring office to home. Virtually Das was always at office no matter his geographical location. Their annual holiday trips seemed more like “work from remote location”  to Das. Shraddha was upset with it. But Das wasn’t bothered as long as he got his incentives and recognitions. Slowly their holiday trips faded into oblivion. It made no sense to go on a holiday when Das could bring his virtual office with him. Shraddha was upset with this and shared her views with Das. But it didn’t matter much to him.

Das loved his family but was too busy to spare time for them. He was working hard for his family and was sure that he would make it up to them in few years. He just needed time to build a career right now. The good night and good morning kisses were long forgotten. He started skipping meals at office and his packed lunch box returned home full and untouched in a row for couple of days. Shraddha was quick to act upon it. She started packing easy to eat and healthy lunches for him. Like a rolled up roti with veggies inside. And often, to make them interesting, she would top the sandwitch with smiley patterned ketchup. She would sometimes give shapes to the sandwitches like teddy bear, stars, clouds etc. On independence day she gave him idlys of carrot flavored, spinach flavored and plain idlies arranged in the pattern of tricolors of flag. Amidst his tightly packed schedule, his lunch box would bring a smile on Das’s lips and he would quickly gobble it up and feel blessed for having Shraddha as his wife. He knew that she understood him. He knew that sometime he would make it up to her. But for now his work was his priority.

Everything went on as usual for Das until this unholy day when he got a call from  hospital saying Shraddha was admitted. He rushed to the hospital and saw Shraddha in the ICU with God knows what all equipments attached to her. Das’s face contorted in pain looking at Shraddha. She surely was looking paler and thinner since few days. But he hadn’t thought she was ill. He thought she was on her crash diet that she occasionally followed. She was sleeping. “What’s wrong doctor?” he asked the doctor. His voice was no more than a whisper.

The doctor took him aside and said. “She has lost considerable amount of weight in couple of months and was visiting Dr. Malhotra for body pains from past two month. She was given general pain killers, calcium and vitamin substitutes but her pain only increased with time. Dr. Malhotra had referred he to me around a month back and she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer.”

“When will you start the treatment? I will complete the initial formalities right away. Don’t  delay the treatment.”

“Mr. Das. I am afraid, its too late now. The damage is irrepairable. The breast cancer has spread to multiple organs in her body and bones. That was the reason for her body pains. You should have brought her to hospital during the early stages. You seem to be an educated man. Couldn’t you check the initial symptoms on her?  Loss of weight and engorged breasts are obvious indications.”

The questions came as a tight slap on his face. Das couldn’t speak.

“Morning, she has suffered a multiple organ failure and she is on ventilator now. You can talk to her once she wakes up. But she doesn’t have much time. We cannot sustain her for more than 48 hours.” 

Looked like it was common for the doctor to convey medical status of  his patients. He seemed to be angry at Das’s negligence and showed minimal sympathy while delivering him the news.

Now he was waiting outside the ICU with his daughter Riya beside him. The doctor had told him that Shraddha might or might not wake up before she breathed her last. He was getting calls from office. He had told them it was an emergency. But they seemed to bother the least and kept calling him every 5 minutes. He switched off  his mobile and prayed that Shraddha  would wake up. He wanted to make it up to her. Their annual trips, their good morning and good night kissses and above all he wanted to acknowledge that he always enjoyed her lunches. Everyday he ate his lunch, he wanted to tell her that he loved her but was always caught up with his work. He wanted to apologize to her for not taking care of her, for not noticing her condition. He didn’t know when he started crying.

Sometime later, the nurse told him that Shraddha woke up. Das rushed in and kneeled beside her bed. Shraddha gave a feeble smile and said, “Don’t cry. Its not that bad. Remember the policy I had taken when Riya was born and you had laughed at me? The papers are in my file. Claim them after I am gone.  That is my wedding  gift for her. Love you loads. Sorry for my shortcomings and…” she smiled and left him forever.

Meanwhile Das kept weeping “One chance. Just another chance. I will make it up to you. PPLEAAAASE”.