Shopping. With my SON????

We went shopping with my son, a one and a half year old toddler. And the experience is worth sharing. My dear husband had taken up the duty of taking care of my son while I selected my clothes and after some time I hear squeals, loud and shrill. I asked my husband what the matter was. My husband looked around and very carefully whispered “He wants to go the women’s lingerie section.” I gave a stifled laugh a good scene it would have made, a man and a toddler checking out women’s lingerie. Pitying my husband, I took my son to the trial room with me. While I was busy trying the clothes, my son was deftly opening the latch of the trial room. Had a tough time there.

After selecting my clothes, we went to the kids section. I was given the task of handling my son whereas my husband took up the less challenging task of selecting clothes for him. This was when my son descended from my arms and removed his pant. Did I mention that he has a severe dislike towards anything that covers him below his waist? He squealed when I tried to pull the pant up onto his waist and I ignored his squeals. But to my dismay the security guard came running to see what the commotion was all about. He cooled down on seeing the source of commotion. I begged him to reprimand my child or to atleast glower at him so that he keeps quiet. But my pleadings were left behind by the toddler’s charm. He smiled at my son and left. Quite an insensitive guy. I turned at my son and tried threatening and coaxing alternately but he wouldn’t wear his pant. I gave in and dragged my son to his dad. On seeing his dad, he started pulling down his diaper. I couldn’t let this happen as I wasn’t carrying a spare diaper. My attempts at handing over the baby to his dad were turned futile as my son was clinging to me and let out few more squeals. As I dreaded, he managed to get rid of the diaper. I could take it no more and decided to take my half naked son to the loo. I deftly found my way to the loo while my husband was picking up clothes for my son. At the washrooms, when I waited for my son to pee, he tried to slip into the toilet seat instead. Luckily, my grip was tight and I didn’t let him slip. The dejected me, took him back to where his dad was. No. He did not pee in the toilet.

By now my son was cranky and was slithering down my arms. We decided to feed him before buying my husband’s clothes. We took him to Mc Donalds. Please don’t get judgemental at this point. We tried to give him healthy food at home but he spat them out. Just for a change we wanted to try some healthy junk for him. my husband ordered a Mc Aaloo tikki for the tike but he chose to have French fries instead. Very healthy indeed. He was standing on the table all the while and chewing the fries. His poor dad was busy holding him and I busied myself with my paneer wrap. When it was my husband’s turn to eat, my diaperless son, peed on the table. It took us some time to clean and we got my husband’s untouched food packed. My husband could no longer keep up with our menace and decided to go home and that’s how our shopping came to an abrupt end.

This is just a glimpse of 3 hours with my son, imagine what an entire day would look like. A roller coaster ride?? Now you know how I lost weight. For all those friends of mine who envy me for losing considerable amount of weight post pregnancy, I am sure this post has earned me some sympathy.

P.S. He spat out chewed lump of French fries on my lap while heading home. I wonder why he doesn’t swallow anything.